The holidays are a wonderful time. If we’re lucky (as I am), we have a loving family and/or good friends with whom to spend time. If not, we’re bombarded with reminders (with constantly playing holiday music and idyllic scenes in the media, or in shop windows) about how happy we should be. Even if we’re not.

We’ve all been there and know that appearances are deceptive. I remind myself that movie actresses need hours of hair and make-up before they look as good as they do on camera. And one of my former internists, who appeared the model of good health, had to give up her practice because of illness. Things are often never what they seem.

So my advice, which I try hard to follow, is to cut yourself a lot of slack this holiday and do the best you can. You may not give the perfect gifts or tip the online-recommended amount. That’s OK. Don’t stress.

The biggest problem some of us have is dealing with loneliness and for that I strongly recommend reaching out. There’s great value is being the one sending out an invitation to get-together or making a phone call, quaint as that seems.

The holidays will end, so enjoy, as best you can, the lights, the music, the food and the company. After that, we have a few gray frozen months before the crocuses.